When God created the world, he created human beings with a sexual nature. However, since the creation of the world, it was God’s intention to place limits on this sexual nature. In Genesis it says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (2:24) God had a few purposes in constructing this system for human sexual relations. First, a monogamous sexual relationship between a man and a woman is the highest possible form of love that can occur between human beings. It symbolizes the love that should be expressed between God and humanity. (Ephesians 5:31-32) Our relationship with God is special because it is a (1) monogamous (2) embrace of absolute otherness. Our relationship with God involves the most radical form of love because it is exclusive and undivided. Deuteronomy says, "Fear the LORD your God, serve him only . . . ." (6:13) It is also the most radical form of love because it is an embrace of otherness. Isaiah says, "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the LORD. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" (Isaiah 55:8-9) God could not be more radically different from us because he is infinite and necessary, and we are finite and contingent. Few people would argue that it is noble to love oneself since most people in this world accomplish that feat without even trying. Love for something that is absolutely different is an intrinsically higher form of love than love for something that is the same since it is necessarily more difficult and virtuous to embrace otherness.
The most radical form of love must involve an undivided embrace of that which is most radically different from oneself. Sexual relations with multiple partners will never produce the level of love that exists with one partner since sexual relations with one partner is undivided in loyalty and devotion. Sexual relations with partners who are the same will never produce the level of love that exists with partners who are different. Sexual relations between a man and woman alone involves an embrace of absolute otherness. This is true on two levels. First, it is a physical embrace of otherness since there is nothing in the universe that is more radically different from a penis than a vagina. Second, it is a personal embrace of otherness since man and woman are also wholly other in their identities as persons. Therefore, only monogamous sexual relationships between a man and a woman are agape love since they alone are an exclusive embrace of absolute otherness.
God had a second purpose in creating humans with a sexual nature, which was the growth of the human species. In order for the human species to continue to expand and survive, there must be a motivation to procreate, there must be a means of procreation, and there must be a structure to develop children up until the age of maturity. Therefore, God linked the highest pleasure that human beings can experience with procreation to ensure that people have a motivation to procreate, and God created the family structure as the ideal system for the development of children. The monogamous and permanent nature of the structure would offer children a stable environment with the same two parents present throughout the development of the children. The heterosexual nature of the structure would ensure that the child’s development includes the unique things that can only be provided by separate male and female parents.
Sexual immorality is any form of sexual expression that violates this ideal blue print that God created for human sexual relations. One principal that can be derived form this approach to human sexual relations is a principle of sexual modesty. If all human sexual expression must be monogamous and an embrace of absolute otherness, then a limitation must be placed on how both men and women can express themselves sexually. One necessary limitation that must exist is in the exhibition of regions of the body that are sexually expressive. A person violates the principle of monogamy if that person exhibits sexual regions of the body in the presence of persons that are likely to be sexually gratified by viewing that region of the body. Paul says, “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:4) Therefore, all people have an obligation to either their current or future spouse to not express their self sexually by exhibiting sexual regions of the body in the presence of persons who will likely be gratified by viewing that region of the body because this violates the monogamous nature of the sexual relationship.
One also has an obligation to other people to dress modestly because of the effect that immodest clothing can have on other people. A person violates the principle of monogamy if s/he receives sexual gratification from another person’s body other than one's current spouse. Job says, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a virgin.” (Job 31:1) Proverbs says, “Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.” (Proverbs 6:25) Jesus tells us in the New Testament that “anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28) When one receives sexual gratification from viewing a person who is not one’s spouse, it is adultery. Jesus said "Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!" (Matthew 18:7) Jesus warns us that it is a great sin to take an action that tempts another person into sinning. Paul said that it was important for "women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety . . . ." (1 Timothy 2:9) Therefore, one also has an obligation to people of the opposite sex to dress in a way that will not tempt them into violating their obligation to remain monogamous to their spouse.
Feminists often debate over whether commercial sexual expression is empowering or demeaning for women. The answer is that it is both. Because men are often very weak when it comes to sexual attraction, it is very easy for a woman to use her sexuality as a tool to control men. However, in the process of exacting this control, she is suffering a breakdown in her relationships with people. First, she is suffering a breakdown in her relationship with her current or future spouse by limiting her love for that spouse through non-monogamous sexual expression. Second, she is suffering a breakdown in her relationship with the men that she tempts into viewing her sexual expression since this will cause them to violate their love for their current or future spouse. Third, she is suffering a breakdown in her relationship with herself because she is violating her own dignity by turning the most sacred regions of her body into a commodity to be bought and sold on the market. Therefore, sexual expression for women is empowering, but achieving empowerment through this means is selfish and a violation of one’s love for other people and oneself.
Non-monogamous sexual expression creates a breakdown in the most sacred human relationship that exists, which is the marital relationship. One aspect of loving one’s neighbor as oneself is wearing sexually modest clothing that is less likely to tempt members of the opposite sex into sexual lust. This obligation applies to both men and women. However, the greater obligation is on women because men are far more susceptible to visual sexual stimulation than are women, which is why many of the Biblical passages dealing with these issues are gender specific. I will now discuss some extra-Biblical standards that I think would be good norms for society to follow in relation to clothing for men and women. Although, these standards standards are not in the Bible, they are some practical wisdom that I think would help us to follow the Bible's commands about sexual modesty. These standards obviously only apply in settings where one can be viewed by a person who might be sexually attracted to exposure of some regions of one’s body. Therefore, there should be no prohibition against nudity with one’s spouse, nudity in a locker room with members of the same-sex, or nudity when nobody else is present.
In relation to clothing standards, it is my belief that there is only one clear brightline rule, which is that a person should never wear clothing that fails to completely cover any of his or her sexual organs. Absolute coverage in these areas of the body is necessary without exception. A woman should never expose any part of her breasts including cleavage. A man can go shirtless, but he should do so with caution based on the the circumstances. Exposure of sexual organs is not the only concern. The following questions are additional standards that one should consider. (1) How tightly does the clothing fit to the body? (2) How much skin is exposed? (3) Is the exposed skin between the waist and mid-thigh for men or between the breasts and mid-thigh for women? (3) What setting are you going to be in? (i.e. office, restaurant, or beach) (4) How likely is the clothing to evoke sexual desire in another person? These last four standards are not rigid brightlines. They are just some things to consider when making decisions about appropriate clothing.
Marriage is a part of God's created order, and it is the greatest possible expression of human love because it is an exclusive embrace of absolute otherness. As a result, no other relationship better symbolizes the relationship between humanity and God than the relationship between husband and wife. The response of some people to these conclusions will probably be something to the extent that the human body is a beautiful thing that God has given to us to be expressed, and that these conclusions are just prudish. The body is a beautiful thing that God has given to us. In fact, certain regions of the body are so sacred and beautiful that we would demean them if we did not limit how we expressed them. Who in this world would rather get a five-year-old used car instead of a brand new car as a gift from another person? If one really wants to cherish one's body, one does not flaunt it to the world at will. Instead, the ultimate way to demonstrate the extent of one's love for one's true love is to cherish and save one's body for that person alone.
(Posted by Trask)
